Gensokyian Twists
by Radio McArbiter
Summary: A compilation from a wacky author. Prepare for the strange! Prepare for the unexpected! Prepare...for the twist. Now featuring:Twisted Love
1. Twisted Dinner

**A short oneshot which i created because i was bored. An first time try at stuff you could say.**

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Dinner

It was a normal night. The Scarlet Devil Mansion settled in for the night, a red island in the green sea of the surrounding landscape.

Inside, at the dinner room, the occupants of the mansion, the rational ones anyway, sat and ate their dinner. Forks and spoons chimed as they did their purpose, the food guided into the mouth of their wielders.

Remilia took a sip of red before turning to her good friend and respected librarian, Patchouli Knowledge. "So Patchy, how was your day?"

The purple haired magican sighed. "The usual. Another attempted 'borrowing' by the black-white and a day of teaching Flandre how not to Kyuu in her anger. I will let you guess which one ended in sucess."

Remilia nodded, familiar with the trouble of her friend. At least the black-white was human, meaning that she slept during the night and spared her the problems of the day.

She turned to her gatekeeper. "I suppose you have to say something about the black-white?"

Meiling groaned as she nursed a battered body. "Punches and kicks do very little when you have a master spark. I just wish I had more assistants."

Remilia clicked in annoyance, her eyes echoing the same sentiment. "From that I heard, your problems lie in your sleeping, not your skills. Am I wrong Sakuya?"

The silver-haired human bowed, looking every inch like the perfect maid of her reputation. "No Remilia-sama. Meiling-San could be more attentive in her duty. That would certainly be able to make up for any lack of numbers."

Meiling trembled in anger. Everyday, they bemoaned her supposed incompetence. Why don't they take over for a day and try it out for themselves?

Remilia turned to her human servant. "What about you Sakuya, how was your day?"

"The day was normal, Remilia-sama. The cleaning of the mansion was completed at normal speed with a majority of the work finished by me. All food stocks are still at optimum level although we are running low on several stocks of wine and blood. Damage from the black-white was repaired within the hour of the attack and all properties of the mansion were recovered before they left the premises." Sakuya reported with a tired voice, making the events sound as if they were everyday occurrences. Well, in Gensokyo at least, they were.

Remilia smiled. "Excellent work Sakuya. Do you think that you require more assistants? To do such a large amount of work has to be exhausting for you."

'She only cares for her human. No one cares that today, I fought off the Moriya shrine maiden or that I held off a fairy attack led by that idiot ice-head.' Meiling thought bitterly.

Somewhere in the lake, Cirno sneezed.

Remilia directed her attention to a mansion occupant that she rarely spoke to. "So how about you Koakuma?"

The red-haired succubus blinked in surprise. While she was a common appearance during dinners, it was rare that Remilia would even pay her any attention.

"Ah well, I managed to catalogue several new bookshelves and I helped Patchouli-sama to stop the black-white." Koakuma said, looking embarrassed in the way she flapped her head wings as if she could bear tell Remilia such boring stories.

Remilia smiled warmly. "Keep up the good work."

The succubus blushed, looking even more embarrassed from the praise. Her head-wings flapped faster.

'Even that she-devil got better treatment than me. I hate this!' Meiling growled.

Unable to take it any longer, Meiling stood up and turned to leave. Her chair scraped across the floor, making teeth gritting sounds that gave a feeling of on edge.

"China, what are you doing?" Remilia questioned, looking at the insolent gatekeeper who dared to leave the table before she, the mistress of the house, did.

Meiling blurred around, her face a mask of fury. Snatching her fork from the table, she hurled it at the 500-year-old vampire with all her might, raw burning anger driving her every movement.

The fork barely made a meter in flight before it was driven in another direction by another flying object. It came to a stop by the side of a pillar, a silver blade pinning to the marble support.

"My name is Hong Meiling, not China!" Meiling screamed.

The dining room was encased in silence from Meiling's outburst. Patchouli looked interested at the sudden turn of events but those who knew her closely know she too was shocked by Meiling's move. Koakuma simply displayed her emotions plainly on her face, her mouth open. Sakuya looked like a person ready to kill from the way her eyes locked onto Meiling and her hand twitched to her knife holster.

Remilia on the other hand simply looked calmly at the Chinese youkai, her hands interlocked in front of her. A pair of scarlet slit eyes faced off against defiant ones.

Meiling turned around and stomped to the dinner room doors.

"Hong Meiling, you will sit down this instance!" Sakuya shouted, sounding as if she was talking to a child, not a youkai well versed in martial arts.

Remilia held her hand up. Sighing, she did something she wished her would never have to do.

"Chinabot Hong Meiling override SDM 495!" She commanded.

Meiling froze, her fluidly moving body stopping until she was as still as a statue. Her eyes turned glassy as the light in them died.

Remilia turned to Koakuma and smiled sadly. "It's so hard to get good help this days." She said.

Koakuma simply kept her mouth open, frozen in her shocked look. A spark burst in light in her mouth, dying as it came in contact with the wetness on its surface.

Remilia groaned. "Sakuya, condition check."

Sakuya froze robotically. A dead monotone arose form her mouth. "The Custom-made Nitorin tech Perfect maid model type Sakuya Izayoi reports all systems in the green."

Remilia let out a thankful huff. "At least you are trustworthy."

She turned to her good friend. "Patchy, can you call Nitorin tech tomorrow? Tell them we have a gatekeeper model that is going against its master programming and a faulty librarian assistance model."

Patchouli nodded resignedly. "A shame, I was starting to grow on this one."

"Sakuya, have the maids bring up the spare models from storage and keep this two until Nitorin tech gets here. Oh and more wine please." She commanded.

Sakuya bowed like the perfect maid that she was. "Of course, Remilia-sama."

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**So how was it? Review and tell me your thoughts. XD**


	2. Twisted Dinner Aftermath

Warning! Story contains very lame elements!

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Dinner 2.0

"Hong Meiling, you will sit down this instant!"

The gate guard ignored the command as she wrenched the door open and stomped out. As the doors closed, the occupants of the room could hear a stifled sob, one filled with frustration.

Sakuya whipped out her knives as she stood in place, raring to go.

"Milady, let me dispose of her." She pleaded, her eyes blazing with the urge to kill.

Remilia simply sighed. "No, Sakuya, still yourself."

As the chief maid looked at her mistress with contained shock at the order, Remilia pinched the bridge of her nose.

"It's hard to find help of any quality even approaching of our rebellious gate guard. I will consider the prospect of letting her go,one way or another but that will not be our first option. Vlad knows how just much damage in reputation would it be if I can't even control a simple gate guard." She said.

She then turned to her good friend. "However, I highly doubt that she would be willing to open up any exchange, except in , I'm counting on you Patchy. You have a more cordial relationship with China. I believe that you will be able to reach her."

Patchouli nodded slowly. "I'll try my best. Come Koakuma." She ordered as she stood up and left the room. The succubus followed her mistress, her face sad at the sudden change.

As the door clicked shut, Remilia sighed again. There had to have been a reason to Meiling to explode like that. Just what she wondered.

"Sakuya, anything happened at the gate today?" She asked.

"The gate was attacked by as expected the black white. However, it was also attacked by a group of fairies and the shrine maiden of the mountain." Sakuya reported.

Remilia growled as she heard of the third attacker. That new Shrine maiden from the outside world was a nuisance, going around indiscriminately attacking youkai everywhere. Why, at least the red white only unleashed her fury during incidents only.

The more she thought about it,the more it seemed likely that Meiling was simply jealous. Of course, part of it was their own fault but Remilia excluded herself from that group. After all, it's not as if she knew any thing to begin with.

And as Remilia thought further, she realized that Patchouli might not be enough.

"Sakuya."

"Yes Milady?"

"Get Flandre."

Patchouli slowly approached the door to Meiling's room.

Taking cautious steps, she crafted the words she was going to use in her head. Meiling was keyed up and the moment and any aggravation wouldn't help their cause.

"What if she attacks?" Koakuma fearfully asked behind her.

"Then we fight back." Came the answer.

At the door, Patchouli lightly tapped on the door once. That chased the door to wrench open , a Meiling at the other side with her fist ready. Seeing the librarian, she stood down and let them in.

"Quite the tidy alcove you have here." Patchouli said as she scanned the room. If there was one place that Sakuya did not touch, It was the personal rooms unless requested by the occupant.

Meiling simply grunted.

Patchouli sighed as she and Koakuma took up some of the empty seat in the room. "Meiling, I know that you are feeling angry. Can you at least tell me why?"

"It's not fair!" The gate guard burst out.

"It's not fair that everyone thinks that I'm too incompetent to do my job! That black white is too powerful! Every time I try to get close, that damn love beam gets me!"

Patchouli said nothing. Suffice to say, the majority of Gensokyo would echo that opinion.

"Aside from that..." Meiling continued, "...no one even cares that I stopped other intruders as well! It's always the black white this, the black white that! Oh, why do anyone ask about that damn outside shrine maiden! She invoked the power of her gods during my fight!"

Both librarian and assistant winced when they heard that. That shrine maiden really went all out this time.

"I barely managed to stop her! And yet no one seems to care!"

The great unmoving library stayed silent. Perhaps a report of the day happenings should help. That way, the mansion would know of Meiling's contribution.

She was still thinking about it when she realized that Meiling had already gone on another tangent.

"...that stupid nickname! Everyone keeps using that nickname even though they know my real name! Hey China!"

Patchouli sighed. She stood up and walked to Meiling and looked to her straight in the eye.

"But Meiling, you are china."

And Meiling was a plate.


	3. Twisted Love

Here we have it! the next incantation of Gensokyian Twists. Prepare to be shocked out of your wits end!

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Marisa knew that certain people were drawn to her.

It was pretty obvious for her, with Alice so docilely letting her enter her home and Patchouli being slack with retrieving her books. Once when she would have to avoid doll swarms and fireballs, now she had to avoid pasties and tea. And she could dispute that the latter was worse. At least she could sleep off battle damage.

She calmly kicked her legs about as she sat sideways on her broom, the bamboo construction streaking across the sky soundlessly. Undeterred by the height that she was at, her mind absorbed by other more important subjects, Marisa stared aimlessly into the distance.

Sure it was fine that her life has gotten easier since she first met her fellow magicians. It's just that recently, it has gotten a but more that just simple friendliness.

The latest incident she could recall, Patchouli tried to reach into her clothes. Sure its more likely that she could be going for he book that she borrowed but Marisa could swear that at that instant, Patchouli tried to grope her.

Call her paranoid but a thief knows when someone is going for something and when someone is not. Patchouli hands were definitely feeling her and while Marisa was no stranger to skin-ship, there was a very fine line between friendly and beyond friendly and Patchouli was far beyond beyond friendly.

Luckily, any thief worth her weight would have avoided that and Marisa was no exception. She easily dodged Patchouli's hands and whipped out her trusty Hakkero, unleashing a Marisa-approved dosage of love.

She could have sworn Patchouli greeted that attack with a smile.

Shaking her head, she looked down at the mass of green below her. The forest of magic stretched out for miles, a sea of green that was unspoiled for quite a distance, the human village just a thread-thick line in the distance. While Marisa knew from memory that hidden under the trees were a myriad of creatures, artifacts and buildings, at least she could indulge in the illusion of being above the peaceful land underneath.

Today, she was heading to Alice's cottage for a quick pickup. The puppeteer had volunteered to help her sew a black white outfit suitable for winter. While Marisa could sew, indeed she had done so since she lived alone, she wasn't honorable enough that she would pass freebies.

Although Alice has been showing the same warning signs that Patchouli has been.

Drawing from the last spellcard battle that they had, Marisa could clearly remember Alice's dolls going for certain parts of her clothing. To be more specific, part of her clothing that held her outfit together.

She could still vividly remember the sight of Hourai's razor blade, slashing for her clothing. Not to mention the numerous attempts by Alice to tie her down literally, via doll and string. Sure, one could argue that this was all tactics to win, since Alice is a strategist but given the recent circumstances, Marisa should be given some leeway to be paranoid.

Unconsciously, Marisa's head started to run wild, her imagination throwing up numerous possibilities of what would happen to her. She started to blush at the picture in her head, blood roaring in her ears.

'No, stop! Get a hold of yourself Kirisame!' Marisa thought to herself. Suppressing the thoughts in her head, she laughed nervously to herself.

"Heh heh. It's all just my thoughts gone wild da-ze. They won't be so crazy." She muttered as Alice's cottage came into view. The simple two story building, a quaint construction with gate and fence in front, cut such a small hole in the forest canopy that if one didn't know it existed, they would have missed it.

Coming in for landing, Marisa pulled up on her broom, landing feet first on the soft emerald grass. A crack shot into the air, as her boot snapped a twig. She froze, images of wire traps, pitfalls and nets falling out of the canopy rifling her imagination. Her body tensed as she anticipated the trap that would spell the end of her.

A butterfly fluttered by, oblivious to the human near it.

Marisa slowly got up from her stance, the realization that no, Alice didn't booby trap her lawn coursing her mind. Laughing nervously at her still present paranoia, she walked up to the door and knocked it.

The impact of flesh on wood reverberated across the house. Marisa waited anxiously, wondering why Alice was taking so long to open the door. Usually she would welcoming her in by now.

And then a small finger tapped her on her shoulder.

"YIPE!" Marisa squeaked as she felt the contact. Whipping out her hakkero from the brim of her hat, she turned around, her weapon already whining as it prepared to fire.

Shanghai smiled back at her. The little doll, dressed in a cute blue white dress, flew past her to the door, where it opened it. Marisa dumbly followed her in, the last traces of adrenaline disappearing from her system in a dying rush.

Following the doll, Marisa entered the dining room where Alice sat, a golden spoon in her hands. Smiling at the black white magician in her abode, she rose, Shanghai returning to her side.

"Ah, finally, I been expecting you." She said as she indicated for Marisa to follow her. The human gave her a uneasy look behind her back. She could have sworn there was a flash of longing in her eyes...

The duo came into a room where sewing material were placed in careful orderly pattern, each taking their appropriate place such that it could have suit a masterful painting instead. In the middle, a mannequin stood, dressed in a long sleeved version of her standard black white outfit. Marisa felt the cloth and smile. Alice did excellent work as usual.

"Oh man, this is awesome ze. Thanks a lot Alice!" She exclaimed as she inspected the clothing more thoroughly.

Alice smiled at the compliment. "Oh its was nothing. Are you going to stay for some tea? I just made a new batch of pasties."

Marisa opened her mouth to accept but halted. Her paranoia was acting up again and Alice's smile wasn't helping. Just for today, she decided to head home and take a day off. Maybe then will her over active mind calm down.

"Sorry Alice but I gotta head home. Something important ze." Marisa said as she grabbed the package the dolls offered.

Alice's smile turned malicious as a horde of dolls appeared from behind her back. "Oh, but the pasties wouldn't be fresh anymore." She whined as the first wave rushed in to attack.

'Gah! I was right! Stupid paranoia!' Marisa mentally cursed as she whipped out her Hakkero. Pointed at the oncoming dolls and their master, she yelled out her answer.

_Love Sign-MasterSpark_

The beam of love blasted out in a roar of energy. As it clawed it way towards Alice, the puppeteer simply spread her arms wide and accepted the attack, letting it wash over her.

'What the hell is wrong with her?' Marisa yelled in her head as she wasted no time to find out. Mounting her broom, she took off down the hallway and out the open door, flying away to sweet freedom.

Kaboom!

From behind her, Alice's house exploded upwards, the puppeteer rising from the wreckage standing on a gigantic goliath doll, easily twice her size. The monstrous creation took off after Marisa, massive thrusters sending the construct into the sky.

'What the hell ze? Where did she ever make that?!' The prey complained as she poured more speed. But the doll matched her speed easily, actually managing to slowly catch up with her.

"Oh Marisa~ You have something I want~" Alice sang as more dolls appeared around her.

_Doll sign-Doll Archer_

Marisa yelped as she avoided the rain of arrows after her. Grazing the projectiles, she almost got shot down by a massive beam of energy that emitted from the Goliath doll chest, the massive construct firing as it flew.

"Tch! That's it!" She yelled as she turned around. Aiming her Hakkero, she pointed the whining weapon at Alice, even as a second hail of arrow arced into the sky.

_Magicannon-Final Spark_

The overly massive beam of energy roared at Alice. The puppeteer greeted the attack with a happy squeal, flinging her arms open.

"Oh yes!" She cried out before being consumed by the energy.

Her attacker shivered. Seriously, this was getting creepy.

"Oh, what's this?" Came a voice behind her.

She turned around to see Patchouli watching the proceedings with a curious smile. The librarian, clad in her usual all purple outfit, smiled at Marisa.

"Patchy, you got to help! Alice is acting all weird!" Marisa babbled.

Patchouli smiled wider. "Oh I'll help." She answered before raising her hands at Marisa.

_Sun Moon Sign-Royal Diamond Ring_

* * *

Marisa awoke with a splitting headache.

The first thing she noted was that she was tied up tightly. The kind where she couldn't even move a millimeter kind of tightly.

As she struggled with her restraints, a pair of voices drifted into the room she was in. A pair that made her panic.

"...it's agreed that we share?" Came Alice's voice as they got closer.

It was answered by Patchouli's sigh. "Well, there's plenty to go around. Why not?"

Marisa watched that both enter the room with fear. "I...I'm sure that we can come to a solution ze. Can you please let me go?" She begged as she captors got closer and closer.

"Oh I think not." Was Alice answer as she reached for her. The captive witch shut her eyes as she awaited for the touch that would be her end.

_Rustle_

Marisa opened her eyes with surprise as she regarded the scene before her. Alice and Patchouli both held her Hakkero, a hungry look in their eyes as they felt the device.

"Oh yes, finally. After so long, you are finally free." Patchouli purred.

Eh?

The owner of said device watched slack jawed as the two magician moaned upon skin contact with the Hakkero. Alice gave her a sly look as her hands shared the device with her counterpart.

"Surely you didn't think that we were attracted to you? After all this time, it's is finally free. Can you feel the love emanating from it? _The feeling?_" She said as her voice turned husky.

"Oh yes, that delicious feeling of being drowned in love..." Patchouli purred.

Marist simply continued to watch dumbstruck.

"Oh Alice, lets feel it." The librarian begged.

"Yes! Yes!" The puppeteer agreed.

The two magician pointed the Hakkero at themselves, quivering at the coming attack. With a moan of happiness, they activated the Hakkero.

_Love Sign-Masterspark_

While the two shrieked in happiness before being consumed by the attack, Marisa continued to be frozen.

WHAT THE...

"HELLLLLLLLLLL!" She screamed as she shot out of sleep, her swear soaked sheets flung away in the action.

She instinctively reached for the one thing she trusted in but stopped before her hands could touch the hexagonal device.

Could it be?

* * *

Patchouli noticed an very apparent lack of something in Marisa's attacks as she dodged a barrage of stars.

"Marisa, where is your Hakkero?" She questioned.

"It's the only way to be sure!

* * *

Well, it's called love sign for a reason...


End file.
